It’s a new year and twelve months stretch out before us, laden with hope, opportunity and adventure.
After a self-imposed three-week hiatus, rather than make lists of resolutions for the new year, I thought I’d share three habits I introduced towards the end of 2013 that made my life better.
At a time when most of us assess the behaviours we want to give up (or should give up), it seems to me there are also good habits we should try to keep hold of.
And if they make our lives more productive and less prone to distraction, so much the better.
Photo credit: Katie Swayze |
Learning to say no
I might give the impression I say “yes” to most things that comes my way – career opportunities, travel trips, the chance to try or experience something new – but lately I’ve started to say “no”.
It’s not because I have so many things to say “yes” to that I can afford to say “no”, but because I realised that always saying “yes” created an impact somewhere down the line.
Saying “yes” could mean less time with family or undue stress from overcommitment or just too much going on at once.
Late last year, I started to say “no”.
I said “no” to the things that made unnecessary noise in my life and I tried to focus on the things that mattered.
When I now get unsolicited emails that make no sense, I hit delete. When I can’t find the time to commit to something or somebody, I don’t beat myself up about it. I simply say “no” or “not right now”.
And while it may seem harsh to turn people down in this way, it feels great to live with less going on.
Do less but be more
When you have a lot going on, it can be hard to concentrate your attention on the important stuff.
And I’m a terrible procrastinator.
Sometimes I just can’t get going. I can literally lose days getting bogged down in activities that may never get me very far. It’s amazing how much time can be wasted on Facebook. Or Twitter. On email or the Interweb. At times, I see these things as the bane of my existence and it feels like there’s always so much to get done.
Yet somehow I’ve found a way to manage the devil on my back.
Now when I sense I’m wasting time without getting anywhere fast, I get up, have a break, come back to my desk and start over, this time on something completable and worthwhile.
If I have a list of umpteen things to do, I focus on 2-3 priorities rather than try to do too much or spread myself too thinly. I’ll apply myself to a smaller number of tasks that I can do well and feel proud of having completed to the best of my ability.
By the end of the day, I measure myself on how well I did with those two or three pressing issues and feel great at having been much more productive.
In a world of distraction and noise, it’s important to do less but be more. (feel free to tweet that.)
Save energy for things that matter
Life is short and if I’ve found myself using up valuable energy on people or issues that I either can’t fix or can’t fathom, then I’ve taught myself to walk away.
I can’t help everyone and I can’t resolve every issue. I have to let some things go.
While these issues might seem important to me at the time, I’d rather spend my time wisely and carefully on areas and people that matter. Because life is busy enough without introducing problems I have no control over or cannot resolve.
This may seem like a selfish habit but, this year, my energy is focused fully on my immediate family.
Already, in less than 14 months, I’ve watched my son grow at an insane rate of knots (who knew?) and I plan to relish every moment of the new year with him as he turns into a pleasantly-behaved two-year old toddler (allegedly).
Sometimes you need to make yourself and those around you a priority because you’ll likely do everything better when you do.
What good habits are you focusing on this year to make your life better? What habits are you deciding not to kick?
Share with me in the comments below.
[email protected] says
Hi Russell,
You write about what may seem obvious to some but is often forgotten by many. We all are encouraged and secretly hope to be enriched and more successful by “doing more”, and yet, strangely despite doing more I find it easier to get stressed and bogged down by all the work and interests I have (even only a week into the New Year) !! I ended last year knowing I need to cut down and refine everyday and every-week tasks to focus on what’s more important .. thanks for reminding me! I am going to have to borrow your “Learning to say No” resolution it seems, however un-natural it feels.
Russell V J Ward says
Hey Daniel, thanks for your comment. These habits definitely weren’t rocket science but I get so much value from reviewing what I do on a daily basis and looking at what needs to change (or not as the case may be). I’ve seen a lot online about learning to say “yes” but, as you say, it seems to create more workload and stress even if it does mean extra opportunity for each of us. So I’m finding it cathartic to trim everything back and concentrate on doing a few things well rather than try to do too much – and do it badly! Borrow away by the way 🙂
Russell V J Ward says
That’s great. Did you blog about it at all? I didn’t see anything but would love to have a read if so. I’m finding the focus part is really working for me. The minute I feel distraction creeping in, I step back and retune. And I feel so much better for it at the end of the day. So good to hear it’s working for you too. We might be over your way in April/May so would be great to catch up and talk habits, writing and life in general.
Michelloui says
I didn’t blog about it but I’m considering a post that will have a bit of this in it. I’m planning that for March. I’ll let you know when it’s up! And yes, staying aware of distraction is very important. I find also that using a timer helps. There’s some things like social networking or online admin that can easily stretch into hours and hours if I’m not careful so if I give myself a set amount of time to do them then STOP, I get a lot more done in the other areas of my life. It would be great to see you when you all come over, yes please let me know when you’re here!
Russell V J Ward says
I forgot about the timer part. Yes, I’m trying that too and it’s working wonders. I also use it with clients which is very helpful 😉 Will keep you posted on our round the world voyage, complete with tiny toddler!
Johanna says
Yes, I so agree Russell. We’ve moved country so many times as expatriates, not necessarily to new or better life situations, but because of work, in order to support our little family. People often tell me how ‘lucky’ we’ve been, and yes I’ll accept that, BUT we’ve had to give up much more than many people would ever dream of giving up in order to move around the world at will and remain employed. Taking a leap of faith and making a change involves all the things you mention in your post, and you have to be ready to give up some things and look for new opportunities. Sometimes you discover that some of the thigns you were hanging onto weren’t that important anyway.
Russell V J Ward says
Totally, Jo. Thanks for your always valuable insights! Question is this – does it get easier for you over time? Or just different to deal with each time? 🙂
Johanna says
I have to say, actually, more difficult I think! It was easier when we could bundle the kids up with us and off we went.
Russell V J Ward says
Yep, I wish I could bundle mine up, especially on 22 hour flights from London 😉