She’s called in to the office to meet with her manager.
She has no idea what she’s done or why he wants to see her but she waits patiently while he makes his point. He adopts a caring tone, asking how she is feeling and whether her workload is too much but his tone seems condescending rather than compassionate.
He says he has a couple of concerns related to her performance. Even though she works out of a home office, he wonders why she doesn’t come in to the office every day and, when she does, why she doesn’t arrive earlier in the morning and why she doesn’t stay until the team leaves at night.
She says that she works from home as that is her base and she prefers to come in when the traffic has died down at 9 rather than 8. This seems reasonable enough and he looks down at his notes, nodding to himself, although it’s plain to see that he doesn’t agree with a word she’s just said.
He asks how she is handling her work generally and she says it’s all fine – she enjoys the tasks and the challenges. He asks why then are her reports always an hour late on Mondays and why doesn’t she respond to his phone calls within a fifteen-minute timeframe. She has no answer other than to ask whether it’s an issue to call back thirty minutes later, rather than fifteen, which is what she usually does.
She’s starting to feel anxious, worried that her responses aren’t good enough. She’s on edge and feels as if she has something to hide. The way in which he questions her makes this seem like an interrogation, not a catch-up, and she scrambles in her mind to understand what the problem is and why he isn’t satisfied with the answers she provides.
He queries a particular call she didn’t immediately respond to and then she slips up.
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| Photo credit: Cat Sidh (Flickr Creative Commons) |
I didn’t call you back right back because I was collecting my son from daycare, she says. He looks up and smiles at her knowingly. She realises something has been confirmed in his mind but she doesn’t expect what happens next.
How are you handling full-time work now you have a baby, he asks. It seems to me that you probably came back to the workplace too early, he adds. I get the sense that you’re struggling to manage your work with your duties as a mother. Satisfied, he sits back and watches her face for a reaction.
She sits there dumbfounded.
She runs through everything in her mind. She works five days a week. She gets her work done on time, even if not always within his strict timeframes. She drops her son off at daycare then starts her work, often finishing in the early evening and rushing back home to make sure she doesn’t miss his bedtime bath and evening stories.
If she stops working in the daytime for any reason, she makes sure she catches up in the evening when her son is asleep. She travels regularly with her job – almost too regularly given her circumstances – and never complains to her manager about the time away from her son or the burden this places on her husband.
She realises this is the way it has been since she decided to start a family in Australia. She has always been fearful of revealing her plans to have a child. She was nervous about mentioning her pregnancy. When she did, she was told there would be no maternity leave payments or any flexible arrangements made for her.
When she did reveal her “situation”, the manager was disappointed and did not bother to hide his displeasure or irritation – in his view, he was now a worker down. Upon her return to the workplace only five months after the baby’s birth, she was expected to re-join the workforce with no excuse or complaint, with total commitment and dedication to the role.
Now she sits here with her manager, him bemoaning her work ethic and demeaning her parental situation, she wishing for anything but this.
Then the nail in the coffin.
He asks how her little friend from the office is getting on. You know, the other girly that left us in the lurch to have a kid or something.
If only this story was unique to this one woman in Australia.
But it isn’t.
Archaic attitudes
This is commonplace across Australia.
And, if I’m honest, the attitudes to women in the workplace – especially relating to pregnancy and maternity – just stink. They really do.
According to Australia’s workplace watchdog, the Fair Work Ombudsman, pregnancy discrimination is now the number one complaint against the country’s employers and this comes as no surprise to me.
Stinking attitudes have been a common theme since arriving in Australia many moons ago. From immigration to the environment, science to education, the views of certain elements of society leave a distinctly bad taste.
I’m not sure whether distance and isolation has led to a sense of detachment from more progressive nations and a feeling that “what works best for us here in Australia is all that matters”. I’m fairly certain the macho culture plays a large role in determining who does what and how.
All that really matters is that attitudes here can be archaic and completely out of step with the rest of the world.
Treated differently
When it comes to motherhood and women in general, far too many employers have out-of-touch perceptions about females and a lack of desire to create more flexible work environments for mothers (and fathers), whatever stage of parenting they may be at.
According to the Ombudsman’s figures, a sizeable proportion of women feel their family or carer responsibilities result in them being treated differently in the workplace.
Under Australian workplace laws and standards, employers are not allowed to make women feel uncomfortable for being pregnant or returning to work and seeking flexible work arrangements. In fact, employers should make sure that work is modified to suit the woman’s situation.
However, it’s clear these laws are being ignored.
While there are many Australian employers who offer bonuses and subsidies to help out with childcare and returning to work, a large number are promoting what the rest of us refuse to accept – that archaic attitudes to women in the workplace are okay in the modern Aussie workplace.
This resonates with broader studies into the views of Australian communities that show a movement towards more conservative, not liberal, attitudes towards women in the workplace.
People are moving towards the view that a working mother is less effective at doing both jobs – being a mum and having a career – than a woman who stays at home and cares for her child full-time. Incidentally, the notion of a man being the main breadwinner has gained ground in this country.
Look around my neighbourhood on the Northern Beaches and spot the high numbers of women at home full-time and the lack of childcare facilities for working mothers – and you start to wonder if there’s an underlying backlash against the working mum.
I have nothing against the “stay-at-home” mum but I do have a problem if she stays at home because local attitudes dictate this is where she should be.
Workplace realities
I’m bored of hearing arguments about the impacts of pregnant women and maternity leave on small businesses and employers. My response is to “get over it”.
Women and men choose to start families. Women fall pregnant and have kids. It’s the way things are. These same women can also contribute to the workforce and provide valuable skills and experience, co-creating a strong, balanced, high-performing economy.
Whether the attitudes towards women date back to the 1950s or to Australia’s refusal to join the modern, flexible working world, we may never know. But it’s seriously time for this country to move forward.
A major change in attitude towards flexible work is the first step.
For many employers, working part-time is still seen as something women do when they’ve had their babies before eventually returning to the full-time ranks. Part-time work isn’t taken seriously and is seen as not suiting someone committed to their career.
As a result, women are scared of working flexibly – or even asking the question – because they don’t want to be known as the “part-timer” or “home worker”.
Pregnancy and parenting discrimination is alive and kicking in the Aussie workplace, and it’s obvious that attitudes to women need to progress. If not, women will continue to be discriminated against because of the simple fact they fall pregnant and have children.
More and more women will then avoid asking for flexibility or consideration of their situation for fear of reprisal or lack of remorse.
And women like my wife in this story will continue to lose out.
What’s your view on attitudes to women in the workplace, particularly in Australia? Have you experienced this? Do you think attitudes need to change?
Do share below.
I have to say – this is very different to what I observe in my workplace (in Sydney) – possibly because I work in the pubic sector and there’s a different culture. There’s a tremendous amount of flexibility and understanding offered to pregnant women here and/or parents who need to leave to pick up kids, bring kids into the office on occasion, etc etc
Hi Justine – you’re spot-on – having worked with you in that public sector environment, it is very different to the norm with flexible arrangements and understanding given – the things you list could not be further from some of the experiences I’ve personally heard about – kids in the office? Wow. I’m sure the very high number of women working across the NSW public sector helps in some small way.
But when it comes to smaller private sector business, not necessarily the large global brands, but SMEs in Australia, I think the problems do still exist.
This is great. I may not be a mother, but I have been asked in a job interview if I was hoping to start a family soon. Madness!
And having lived overseas for so long, I am struggling with the archaic attitudes here, particularly rallying against men. It is like we don’t even acknowledge the leaps and bounds in the rest of the world — we have so much to learn. Where’s the empathy? People here have it drummed into them that your job is your life, your worth and your status. That’s not right.
Job flexibility is key to life, family or not. If you get the work done, you should be fine. But laying out an obstacle course that even working from the office you couldn’t meet (call back within 15minutes? I never did that, even when I was in the office!) is mean-spirited, patronising and deliberate. He’s being a dick (which is and sounds like he’s enjoying his position of authority.
Hey Rebecca – you’re right that he is a dick and not without his own issues that we can’t speak of here. But he has an insanely traditional view of the way things should be in the office. If you’re a homeworker, you should still be in the office. If you travel on business, then I own you for the next 24 hours. It’s just plain wrong, particularly when trying to be a good mum too.
Australia is a male-dominated society, regardless of what anyone will tell you to the contrary – it comes through at the BBQ, by the beach and in the workplace. Too much emphasis on work, the work image (tradies rule), and the image of the woman at home. Not right at all. Thanks for sharing – really interesting to hear other perspectives 🙂
Wow, I do waffle on don’t I – apologies for the novel 😉
Strong article Russell. I’m also on the Northern Beaches and notice the continual stress my mostly female clients (who are usually mothers) are under in terms of covering all their commitments – childcare being a big one. The modern day work place needs to get with the times and ensure flexibility and equity for all the workforce. Remote-work and work-from-home arrangements are only going to increase as time passes. Productivity studies demonstrate this is in fact a positive in terms of bottom-line outcomes for business – it is business management that needs to adjust it’s thinking in my view – and adapt!
Thanks so much and appreciate your comment (and the ‘local’ perspective!). Totally agree with you regarding the need for a change in business management. It’s not to say every business out there is inflexible and discriminatory, but there must be a fair few for the Fair Work Ombo to make such findings. And in my experience, work-from-home is so helpful, particularly when dealing with the Sydney commute!
Lol. You’re welcome to waffle any time. It means you’re passionate about the subject and it hopefully also means I found a way to engage you with this post! 😉
Agreed on all counts, Katie.
An epic comment of these proportions deserves an epic response but I’m hoping others reading your views will also jump in and add their own perspectives.
Re. your comment on the public sector – absolutely. Women have achieved much equality in this industry and the working environment reflects a balance and sensitivity to women’s needs (fyi, I actually did a stint with the Office for Women so saw firsthand some of the policy actions being developed for within and out of this sector).
So sorry to hear about those very poor experiences you had but thanks for sharing those insights and situations. They really add colour to this post. I have also heard Aussie women perpetuating the myth to my surprise. Having lived in Canada, I can only imagine how bizarre these responses and attitudes would have seemed to you. Over there, it’s normal behaviour – equality and acceptable behaviour and a shared workload along non-traditional lines. And your comment about powerful women and Aussie men is spot-on – there is a sense that men feel threatened and also don’t want a change to the status quo. The macho culture is encouraged by men and women here – it’s the way things are unfortunately.
My wife says thanks! I now that big changes are ahead for her (and us). But if you can get her over to Canada soon, we’ll take that 12 months mat leave 🙂
What do you folk think about Federal Govt Legislation for Paid Maternity Leave?????
It is not easy for Managers male or Female to arrange Work=from-home for Mothers or Fathers or non-parents and really get the job done [unless you might be working in the public service- no pun intended] JD in Australia
Absolutely agree and, if anything, I think the problem is even worse in regional WA. The public sector environment here is fairly flexible with working hours to accommodate women with children, but there is no maternity leave pay beyond the national minimum!
That’s crazy. And I found out yesterday that a company a friend works at has just scrapped its generous maternity leave provisions of full pay for X number of months because the govt pays minimum wage for 18 weeks. So they’ve decided to revert to govt and get rid of their own better benefits. Crazy.
James, I think the current paid maternity leave provisions are good but not great. Hopefully this will change under the current PM’s election commitments. I also used t manage an entire virtual team of homeworkers (7 of them) based literally around the world. I trusted them and they got the job done. The work also suited home working and there was never a problem. The work was always done so it really does suit certain work and environments.
Agreed! Definitely comes down to the role and type of work – it’s not for everyone and everything. Interesting comment on the surveillance and fear aspect because this is exactly what is happening with my wife’s situation. I believe he’s fairly old school, believes in out of sight, out of mind, and is struggling with the notion of his staff not being physically around him.
It seems to me like her boss had already decided she wouldn’t be up to the job because she has a child. I’d be interested to know if she works for a smaller company, or a larger one and whether that makes a difference in the scheme of things. I’ve always assumed that Australia is quite a macho country. I can’t believe maternity payments are not compulsory. (Sorry, I think I’m just listing thoughts here, rather than putting anything together that’s coherent!!)
In the UK I worked for the NHS and I at least felt comforted by the fact that if a manager was out of line I would have the support of HR policies. It’s such a shame that framework isn’t in place in Australia.
She works for a smaller company, Amy, which probably does make a difference. I think the bigger organisations are marginally better but maternity payments aren’t compulsory here and many companies are now reverting to the govt minimum scheme and claiming this is their maternity provision for pregnant women.
Thanks guys.
Thank you for the great article. I’ve heard similar stories from all my friends who have got kids, and I always felt sorry for those women and was dreadful to imagine what challenges I would have to face by myself in case we would decide to have a baby. But recently I had the most disgusting experience in my life related to this topic, and would like to offer another perspective on this problem – how attitude towards women in the workplace affects women’s attitude towards each other.
When I found a job (though entry level role with pretty low salary, it was matching my past experience and area of professional interest), I was the happiest person in the world. In Australia it is big luck for a woman to find decent job in finance. Team seemed to be great. However, training was very poor – my workmate had kids and her own job to do, so she didn’t have much time and obviously motivation to train new person. In addition, that woman demonstrated very arrogant and patronizing behavior towards me (although we were almost the same age, and I was way better educated then she, and had relevant experience what she lacked), macro-managed me behind my manager’s back, interrupted in team meetings and presented what I would have to present, excluded from conversations with my direct manager to not let me to build professional relationship with him, and directly or indirectly competed both professionally and on personal level. She made my first days in the company pretty hard although she by herself was enjoying everything what she could in that environment – permanent employment (although she didn’t have relevant experience when she was employed), promotion after 1.5 years of work, male managers’ trust and respect, flexible working arrangements to allow her to manage work and being mum of 2 kids (1 day working from home, other days coming and leaving whenever she wanted). Of course, to not loose all this she had to prove that with 2 kids she still can manage her new role. And somehow for her it meant to show that she is better than me, new beginner who is just learning the process and trying to integrate in the team and into the culture of the company. My raised alarm was ignored by my manager. In the end when I was seeking my managers’ help again, they fired me saying that I was not flexible, was not able to cooperate and be part of a team and was a destruction to very harmonious team.. Because for the manager it is easier to make up reasons to fire woman without kids and to have no risk of discrimination accusations rather than to lay off or to take any actions towards the woman with kids. All this situation was simply a consequence of the main problem – woman with kids felt very insecure in her workplace because of macho culture within that team. And I am thinking: we, women, can’t change much the reality of Australian corporate environment, but is this really a good excuse to be so mean towards each other?
Thanks for sharing your story, Terry. Interesting stuff and I’m obviously sorry you were laid off. Do you think it would have been different in another country and culture?