I’m fascinated by the different lives we can lead through the choices we make.
Every day, we’re faced with decisions and possibilities.
Every day, the choices we make can create new outcomes and drastically change our lives – or keep us steady where we are. Some choices have less effect, while others are more dramatic.
When Helen Quilley is fired from her job in the film, Sliding Doors, we’re shown the two paths her life could take depending on whether or not she catches that train.
Two paths with two contrasting outcomes.
Just how many sliding doors do each of us make or miss every day in our lives? What would life have been like if you had taken an alternate path earlier on?
Some of us go through life without realising what we may be missing or turning down. We might not know that a door is closing as we walk past or that another may open if we look hard enough for it.
It’s often a choice between sticking with the status quo or trying something new. Looking around and opening your eyes to the opportunity and possibility evident in every move you make.
In my own life, I’ve become more conscious of these sliding door moments and how, with a word or two, a nod in the right direction or a persuasive comment, I can affect the direction of our future lives – where we live, what we do, how our son grows up, who he grows up with.
It’s that simple and that impactful.
Did I know that a chance encounter with a fellow gym junkie would one day lead to a move to Australia?
Could I have known that the decision to write in my spare time would eventually lead to a full-time career?
And when we sold our house, did it always mean we’d head back to the UK?
These moments are unpredictable but it’s about spotting them when they arrive and deciding how to act upon them. Recognising their power and significance, and often relying on instinct to make a call when the time comes.
In life, there are so many of these sliding door moments – decisions we make on a whim or as a result of an outside influence.
You can’t always control the moment but you can control which road you’ll follow.
This extended travel trip has made me more aware of these moments and I find myself daydreaming about alternate lives.
What if we choose to head to Europe for a little while on the way home and see what turns up? What say we travel back via Canada and reconnect with our former home? And what about returning directly to Australia and carrying on with life there – the same life as before but with a few variations?
I see parallel lives with completely different outcomes.
So I ask you to think about the last time you were faced with a decision or remember back to when you stood outside your own sliding door and then ask yourself this question.
Have you ever wondered about the version of you if you’d chosen a different path?
1000% russ!!
I always wonder what would’ve happened if we’d stayed in Aus after grad school. I miss life there immensely and have a tough time not reminiscing about how easy/enjoyable life was back then.
I think longing for these sliding doors is a slippery slope. I find when I’m in that state, I have a tough time moving forward and trusting decisions in fear of making a mistake.
My brother always says: “we are all in the exact place we are meant to be at any point in our lives. Whether its learning good stuff or beig taught hard life lessons”.
To me, it’s the eternal rose coloured glasses, but also, sometimes we don’t know what we had til it’s gone
That’s tough, Laura, but I don’t blame you. Australia is a fantastic destination and it sounds like the time you spent there holds a very special place in your heart. I don’t think you can dwell on those sliding door moments but you can recognise them when they occur in the future and pick the door that suits you best (based on what you want and what you’ve learned from past experiences). Move forward and act with instinct and confidence 🙂
I agree with Laura not to dwell too much on what could have been – there’s a danger of missing out on the magic of where you are now, and all that you have experienced to date. My mum says a similar thing to what Laura’s brother says! That you are always right where you need to be, and that in this moment everything is perfect as it is. I find that comforting.
I have wondered on occasion what my life would look like if I had stayed in the Netherlands after school and had gone to uni there instead of the UK. Hard to say what would have happened! But that wondering did result in making a decision to return to the Netherlands where I was born and brought up, because I wanted to know what it was like to live here as an adult. And to be honest I did have a touch of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’!
So three years after moving back to the Netherlands I have experienced being back in my home town/country and I remember why I left in the first place, lol. Although it’s a great place to live, it doesn’t resonate with me – definitely not as much as Scotland does where I am heading next (in two weeks!). I’m following my heart and what feels good. And being cross-cultural means that really I can live anywhere in the world, I am not bound to one country or one nationality. It’s irrelevant to me. So what is left is listening to my heart, so Edinburgh here I come! 😉
I find that comforting too. Thanks for sharing 🙂 And the grass is greener with this one too!
I think that three months after being here in the UK, I’ve also seen the pros and cons behind life here – why I left and why I also sometimes think of a return. But it’s great to hear from someone who also knows what they want and why they want it, and I have no doubt that the Edinburgh move will be a success.
Quick question – how soon do you think you’ll know you made the right choice? Upon arrival, after a few months, or you likely already know it?
Like you, I am also starting to wonder whether nationality has that much meaning anymore, particularly as one who moves around often…
I already know my decision is/was the right one – because it feels good and I made a pact with myself that no matter what I was going to decide, I would go for it 100% and be 100% responsible for that choice. My coach made that suggestion to me!
And what’s more – I can always make another decision later on if needs be! 😉
Absolutely. But I hope you don’t have/need to!